Friday, November 17, 2006

White Ribbon Day 25th Nov




I Know what your thinking another day another bloody ribbon it seems theses days that there is a ribbon to wear on most days of the year for some thing or another if its not AIDS or cancer then its something more close to home like we are wearing a purple ribbon cause little Timmy can not find is dog. Anyway this is one I would like you to all get behind cause its something that has touched my life in such a huge way but we will get to that ..

What is White Ribbon Day ?
White Ribbon Day was created by a handful of Canadian men in 1991 on the second anniversary of one man's massacre of 14 women in Montreal. They began the White Ribbon Campaign to urge men to speak out against violence against women.

In 1999, the United Nations General Assembly declared November 25 the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women (IDEVAW) and the White Ribbon has become the symbol for the day.

What Does Wearing A White Ribbon Mean?
Wearing a White Ribbon is not a badge of purity or a badge of perfection. It does not mean that the wearer has perfect relationships. It does not mean that this man has never been violent in the past. It does not mean that this man has all the answers. It simply means that this man believes that violence towards women is unacceptable
In 2004, more than 200,000 White Ribbons, and in 2005 250,000, were worn by men and women across Australia in their workplaces - all Australian police forces, many national and local sporting organisations, the media, politics, the Australian Defence Force, and in capital cities, rural towns and regional centres.

So Why This Day Why am I Talking about this one?
I always think twice or three times about posting my personal stuff on my blog cause it never seems to be a wise thing to do but here goes I guess most of you kinda know about my past anyway so the short and condenced version.
First I have to say this this is like a Life time ago (well 6 years and a bit now)As most of you know I was married YEA! to the best guy in the world well so I thought We has the best wedding it was so kewl I rember that 2 of my friends from France came all the way to suprise me and that my dress was like 2000 worth and so nice, We actually spent more money on hire cars than I did on my first car as we had 4 vintage black Jags anyway it was such a great day (not that my mother came but thats another story) anyway before I get lost in all the girly shit about how nice it was and who came etc etc. thats not what I am talking about See Noah (G_d bless him!) had quite a few problems the major one was his anger and his controling ways now I know I should have seen it coming and looking back I prolly did. But when you are young and stupid you think you can do anything and hey the church was there to help and suport were they not!

So it wouldnt have been long before I knew things were not quite right probaly started with my friends telling me that he treated them like shit behind my back (always trust your friends!!!) and asking me not to see some people I mean we were married and I guess I could do that right! so anyway by the end of the first year I Had distanced myself from most of my friends I had made some huges changes in my lifestyle just because of him now I know that in the first year we had some huge fights what was worrying was that the fights were getting worse from simple disagrements to full on shouting matches to pushes and by the end of the year you guessed it pushing shoving and the odd hit!!

Its actually alot harded for me to write this crap than it should be so if it seems that I am just touching the surface well you get that .. Its personal stuff after all and the net is so personal right! anyway I dont know how it happaned I dont know what went wrong and I dont know how I got so so very stupid but by the end of the second year I had become what I hate!.. I had lost myself I was in a relationship with a monster that got worse and worse the violence got more often and more severe By the end of that year I was more a punching bag than a wife ( dont know how I dont know why) but I do know that I was getting hit atleast once a week that my life was not mine and I have NO idea why I stayed or why I let this happan or why I kept going back for more!! I guess some lessions you just dont learn!

It all came to a head when I fell pregnant after we had been married for about 2.5 years. Now a baby is going to fix everything isnt it! I mean everyone loves babys and this was going to be our start to a family everything was going to be so good I told a church friend first who has some idea of what was going on. Most didnt!.. I was so scarred to tell Noah about it I kept it to myself for a few weeks fearing an argument. I use to live with such fear. Anyway when I did telll him all hell broke lose big time and to cut along story short I got the beating of my life at aobut 3 am I woke up in a pool of my own blood and everything hurting i couldnt breath I couldnt walk and my arms wouldnt do what I wanted I so dont know how I got to the phone and got an ambulance I looked like I had been run over with a Truck twice... I forget most of what happaned for the next few days I was in Hospitial and thats all I really know. Needless to say I lost the baby even if it was only early days you still feel the loss. Noah was no where to be seen and My only true friend in the whole world was there by my side.

This was like the end and the start of my life (I know I am skipping stuff) anyway Noah was tracked down by some of my old friends from surfing days and from what I hear they fucked him up good not that I wanted that to happan I just wanted him gone and for the most part I never saw him again untill late last year but more on that another time .. ( I do love him) ... From then on I took alot of time getting to know me getting to know what I wanted to do .. getting to know how to live the life I wanted with the people I want to ... Anyone who knows me now would tell you just how strong I am how balanced I am. How at peace I am ....

So getting back to WHITE RIBBON day its a big one its something worth your support its not going to cost you anything. So get behind it for everyone whos still living in fear whos hiding from people who say they love them for you mother your sister you ex girlfriends you children your friends ... just stand up!!!! ...

Australian research has established that:

more than 1 million women have experienced violence during a relationship with 60% reporting that they lived in fear during the relationship;

23% of women in a current relationship, or who had been in a relationship, experienced physical and/or sexual violence from a partner;

20% of women who experienced violence were pregnant when violence first occurred;
67.6% of women who experienced violence said their children had witnessed the violence (Women's Safety Australia, ABS 1996);

the average direct cost of services for each victim of domestic violence was just over $51,000 per year in 1988;

domestic violence generates enormous costs for the health sector and the legal sector (second only to traffic accidents in taking up police time) (Roberts 1988);
domestic violence significantly disrupts employment and business productivity with direct and indirect costs to business estimated at $1.5 billion annually (Henderson 2000);

there are significant costs in income and other support for women who are unable to obtain or keep a job in the wake of leaving a violent relationship.

Wow did you really read all the way down to here ... Well done !!! lol

Anyway I so hate talking about the past thats why I skipped along and tryed not to get into do much depth with it all .. the main thing is its just so long ago and so much not who I am today .....

I guess thats all I Have for ya today
play safe
love and light
Sarah
XOXOXXOXOXOXXOO!

If you want more info on white ribbon day click here

3 comments:

Barry said...

I never expected to see this all blogged. I think you have become quite strong.

Good cause too.

Anonymous said...

My violent husband is a "hero", and justified it. Even though he said he wanted to hurt me real bad, so he did. I will live with the physical damage for the rest of my life. Most violent men justify it. They also justify the emotional and metal abuse. IT is a hard thing for the family to pull out of.

Sarah said...

Hi Anon, Its never easy all I can say is that if you listen to the right people and start taking the right steps then the path back is not as long as it may seem ... There is no magic word no quick fix but believe in yourself and thats a good start ...
HUGZ
Take care
love and light
Sarah