So life goes on ... well in some form or another lol

Anyway just got back from a totally sick performance (is that what the kids say) at the tea shop we had a guy play some great blues rootsy funky folky stuff he was fantastic he has actually kicked off what should become our spring series of having a music act one the last sunday of the mth its a way to say thanks to all the people who come to the shop a way to say welcome to some new faces and most of all its a way to pull some more money out of there pockets lol how captalistic of me narr we so dont even charge ...

Anyway I have had a few ups and downs this week but most of all I have been up except for some late lonly nights and bad dreams .. well you get that sometimes

I have been trying to add some writting lattley that is not all shit about what I do and where I have been and from time to time I will just post it at the bottom of a post I found this clip on You tube and its kinda my fave at he moment I am working on getting some of the moves down before I ask to be on part 2 lol no really well maybe not ... watch it if you have time



I fixed the speedo on my bike on Saturday .. they were going to charge me 500 for a new one so little miss fixit had a go totally thinking I would turn out to be little miss fuckit .... but no some spray oil and a wiggle here and there and wola all good ..

anyway try to guess where this I took this photo its along way from my place but so nice I am going back really soon and the riders around that area are soo nice flashing there lights and telling me where the cops were hiding cause I was only going like 100kph over the speed lmit lol

Love and light
Sarah
hugz

For Lloyd

One of the things I do is visit old people its part of a age concern group that I volunteered for a while back and involves an Hour a week (well sometimes more) where I would vist an old dude and just chat and keep them company. About a year back I started visiting Lloyd. He was the original grumpy old man and I would come and share some time with him sometimes just talking about what he was up to sometimes playing cards or sharing a cup of tea most of the time I would just listen to him talk about all kinds of stuff.. He always has alot to say about any topic from politics to life and was not shy in just saying it as it is .. (or at least how he sees things) Sometimes I didnt want to spend time with him Like I said he could be a grumpy old prick !!!! but I would tell him so and he would laugh and agree for the most part!!

We played cards one day and he got so pissed off when I beat him he called me a cheat and threw the cards in the air I told him to go fuck himself to which he laughed and we both ended up laughing at the fact I used the F word and how un becoming of a lady it was .. gee I guess he got to know me too ...

anyway early this week I got the news that Lloyd had passed away it. He died in hes sleep and without any pain so I guess that was a nice enough way to end his life .. They had a funeral for him today and It was nice to meet some of his friends (he didnt have many) some of his famialy and even a few guys that served in Veitnam with him (gee they came along way)

I guess deep down I knew this would happan some day but it hit me like a brick I could go on and talk about Lloyd for ages but I wont (I just dont feel like it) And He would not want me too anyway so I will only say Your God bless and keep you Lloyd you showed me many things taught me many lessions and I am truly better to have known you ... Thank you for everything ... LOVE AND LIGHT FOREVER (even if you couldnt understand why I said that lol ) Hugz SARAH


i felt heavy today.
the alarm woke me up on the floor
telling me to get ready for your visitation.

i didn't know what to wear,
so i wore what i always wear

mike came and picked me up
carried us to the funeral home.
everything felt heavy.

I went inside and saw many people crying.
I hugged all of the familiar faces
which I had not seen before.

many people were crying.
but i wasn't crying.
my emotions didn't want to show themselves.

i went into the chapel where many people were gathering.
i couldn't think when i saw your casket
from the back of the room.

so i sat for a short while.
then i went to the altar
and hugged your sister.

after i hugged your brother
i looked down at you in your casket.
you didn't look the same.

i wasn't crying like everyone else.
i couldn't figure out why,
for i had loved you too.

finally the man said it was time for the service to start.
so i sat again,
this time in the front pew.

i could see you perfectly.
you didn't look the same.
but i still wasn't crying.

the man told us about you.
he summed up your life in less than one hour,
but you were so much more than that.

after the service ended
i went to your casket again.
you were peaceful, but not the same.

suddenly things were blurry
and hot water was pouring
out of my eyes.


i pulled away and looked up at mike
and saw the tears in his eyes;
the first i had seen him cry.

i hugged others.
i felt heavy.
i was not myself.

as i was leaving
i stopped to hug jacob
and said i would see him monday.

everything was blurry by that time.
everything felt heavy
and i couldn't move.

on the drive home
the sky flashed with lightning
again and again

the clouds glowed with the same blue
that used to light your eyes,
the same eyes that lit the world.

those eyes that i'll never see again
for as long as i live
alive only in my memory.

i will see you again one day.

Is that spring I can smell ???

Well kids spring is awhile off yet but had some great weather the last few days and well I like to get my hopes up dont I ...

So what can I tell you ... Sunday I went on a Huge ride with some people from the local bike shop and It was great to get out in a group of about 15 riders they say when the weather picks up they get alot more so I am looking fwd to that we did about 300km and my butt was so sore I am not use to long rides but it will get better (I hope) I totaly forgot to take any photos and kinda kicked myself when I got back cause we went to some great areas and found a nice old school pub that kinda rocked even if I could only order a salad and that was kinda basic to say the least aparantly the dead animals were great from what I was told ... anyway made some new friends and had a laugh .. they ride first sunday of the mth and even do a couple of overnight trips during the year so that should be a blast..

I am at abit of a loss again as to where to take this blog .. I dont know if I should write about things that are inportant to me or just fill it with crap that goes on in my life or what .... any ideas????? I guess when I started I was going to write on my life and the events and people that effect it so thats what you are going to get ... I do think I need to put alittle more thought into it .. dont you think ... ??????

I have called off my plans to head to South East Asia for now . perhaps next year just never seems to be enough time .. ( Do I sound old or what ..) back in my day ... ha ha ah

Sicko comes out tommorow and I am hoping to see it sometimes I forget how lucky we are in Australia to have free (well almost free) Health care so that we look after everyone the way it should be I feel ...

And what kind of person would I be not got give you thisLINK ????!!!!!!!

Take care nice people (grumpy ones can piss off lol )

Love and light
Sarah


It's about 11.00 am in the coffee shop. I got bored of conversation a while ago. I've taken to watching. Oberving. Occasional rough grunts to show I'm alive, but aside from that, just watching...observing...him.
He's smoking. I know he's too broke to afford cigarettes. I know he bludged them. Chances are he didn't even know the person. He's a performer. He will charm until he gets what he want. Cigarettes. Love. Money. Today he has extracted a cup of coffee from me. This sits in front of him, half drunk. A cappuccino. Reasonable flavour. Not fantastic quality. But I know he's not a discriminating coffee drinker. As long as I'm paying, it all works.
I think his girlfriend is talking. Not sure what about...herself probably. Unlike previous girlfriends ths one is a teenager, as opposed to a teenager's body with a thirty year old soul. No...this one is definitely a teenager.
She's an ex-smoker. Playing with some of his used matches. Flicking them between her fingers, talking, but staring intently at his cigarette, watching his hand move back and forward from the table to his mouth.
My eyes follow hers to the hand. He has a very feminine way of holding his cigarette. Not like my mother. My mother holds her cigarette like it is something to be treasured. Like each puff will be her last. My mother holds her cigarette like an addict. He doesn't. He holds it like a fashion statment. Like pin-up girls in the forties and fifties. Like it is something to make one's self more attractive. Like he could quit at any time but now is just not convenient. He'd make you believe it too... if you gave him a window. He gently draws back, then allows whisps of smoke to curl out the side of his mouth and trail up into the air.
Cigarette smoke has always fascinated me. It has a funny way of curling itself round the air and strangling. The smoke suffocates the air before wafting over to my face, engulfing me in a smell I find oddly comforting. Marlboro smoke. I am immune to it.
Girl is still talking. He is still smoking. And me? I am still watching...observing...inhaling offcast Marlboro smoke and thinking...
When I looked at him I saw a little boy in big boy's clothing. That is all. He was smoking. He was cool. He was fine. And he was so out of his depth.