Where the bloody hell are you ?

i Have to mention the new australian add ! go see it at

http://www.wherethebloodyhellareyou.com/

almost makes me want to go to australia lol even though am here ....lol

hope you like it if you havnt seen it

life moves

hey everyone !!!

i have this feeling i will be leaving the net soon well to a point anyway .. see i use to be the one that lol at people who would leave the net when the real world called them .. over the years i have seen many people just vanish when the real world called them back when they fell into a relationship with people in the real world they just leave the net behind ... mostly without so much as a goodbye .......

Well i am not leaving yet but i will be leaving soon it seems that life is callin me and its been along time online for me years infact with the net and net friends being a large part of what i do well i have the real world callin me now ...

as you know i have started a relationship in the last few weeks and it is so great and so fantastic that soon it will be time for me to give up on blogging and give chating away while not for good but i just am not going to have the hours to put into to it all with real life people taking my time in a good way so while this is not good bye it is just a warning of what is to come

so please know that i am happy for the first time in a long time i am actually in love and its a good thing !!!!!

well take care i will tell you more soon i promise
peace out
Sarah xoxoxoxo

sometimes its just easy

what can i say .... someone has just come into my life and totaly changed it for the better they have shown me that the past is the past that the future can look bright and there is so much more than i thought just under the surface ........ to risk sounding dumb and school girl .... today the sun is higher the colors brighter the birds louder the air cleaner everything tastes better and is fresh and new ... lol
that might not mean anything to anyone but i dont know words to tell you all how i feel to day i guess this is love might be some song words that i could steal but its more than that ..... its like dare i say it but i honestly feel i have found my soul mate the one who i have been lookin for all my life the one who i thought i have found before but didnt and now i know that no one before has ever been even close and no one has conected to me in such a way .....

Ok i know what you are thinkin lust sarah you are full of shit .. trust me i would have said the same just a week ago but when you know you know .....

i really do have lots to say but feel somewhat exposed to say it out loud i guess in time all will be out for all to know in time for now i will keep a few tiny things to myself ........

Sending out so much love to all my friends
Sarah
xoxoxoxo

funny how just one thing can change everything

funny how it goes just one little thing can change everything sometime it is so tiny that you wonder how it could be that one phone call could change the shape of your life and send events in place that totaly deveat from the path you were lookin at taking ..... so what to say i guess it depends on how personal I make my little blog dosnt it .... well lets see ... right now i am just going to say that some stuff has happpaned to totally change things for me and its all for the better in involves someone coming into my life and a conection that is just totaly blowen me away ...... just when i was thinkin that i would never have those weird feelings again that i was going to have to calculate everything and was not going to be able to risk anything for anyone i think i may have done that .. i am hoping i have not jumped the gun too much here in saying this but well we will just have to wait and see i guess ........ and by the way it is no one you may think !!! that is for sure !!!! so anyway as i one day i post i am confined by the past and the next post i say i am free i guess it just goes to show that one meeting one phone call one day really can change your life if you are open to it ............

I know i have said not much here about not much but know that i am so happy today and i dont want to say it incase i am too early to say such things i guess the next week will be the kiler or the maker of something so great ...... and for some reasion i know it will be the maker ...... i am not one of them silly girls to get blinded by some lust fest (been there done that) this is totaly difrent well i think it is !!!! and look fwd to telling you all about it soon ......

but untill then
love peace light chi and happaness
sarah

Holding on OR letting go !

sometimes the past just has a way of effecting your thinkin and that is what i am doing at the moment i want to move on to move forward but i feel the past is reaching out and pulling me back Sometimes i feel i am free of it all and then sometimes i feel i am traped by memories of the past of people of ex lovers It is these times when i feel i can not move forward because i still hurt from them because i still love them in some way and because i dont know they are just there ....... It seems so easy for some people to just move on but i am not one of them people I mean everyone that has pasted through my life i believe has been there for a reasion and sometimes that reasion is not clear to me untill they have left and i am all alone

So how do i deal with this do i just try again to let go ??? but how ??? i feel the need to get some closure somehow ?? do i confrount them and tell them how they caused me pain and how that pain effects me ??? would they even care ??? did they ever care ???

See i want to love again with the same recless abandment of my youth when you didnt have to think everything through in your head when you could just love and that was all you needed ???? can i get that back ..... please great spirit grant me that again !!!!!!!

Sarah
hugz to everyone

something nice and personal

I thought lookin back on the posts of late they are kinda nasty and dark so i guess i should share some light and yang and balance it out a little .....

So first arnt some people just kind hearted see i am not one to celabrate valantines day one bit i mean i have nothin against it and all but i just never really get into it at all well this year i got 2 great gifts from two very special people in my life ......

first was a necklace with a cute little bear on it that came all the way from iraq of all places and while i dont really wear such things i think it is so sweet and at the moment it is hanging off my display .......

Second was a weekend away to a health spa with a special friend of mine ( more on that another time) but wow can you believe a whole 2 nights in a health spa with massarges and facials and just pampering and relaxin ...... i so can not wait for that one its in the next couple of weeks

I am still torn between how personal to make the blog but i think people like it better if i make it personal and just tell you all whats going on ...... so i will try to make it more about me and less about shit ..... take care shiny happy people
Sarah XOXOXOXOXOXOX

More Usa bullshit !!!!!

By Warren Hoge The New York TimesFRIDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2006
UNITED NATIONS, New York UN human rights investigators called on the United States on Thursday to shut down the Guantánamo Bay camp and give prisoners quick trials or release them, but the White House promptly dismissed the report.
Arguing that many of the interrogation and detention practices constituted abuses amounting to torture, the report stated, "The United States government should close the Guantánamo Bay detention facilities without further delay."
Alert to the report's conclusions from news accounts based on a draft and reacting quickly to its publication Thursday, the White House suggested the investigators had based their conclusions on disinformation deliberately spread by terror groups.
"I think some of this appears to be a rehash of some of the allegations that have been made by lawyers for some of the detainees," said Scott McClellan, the White House spokesman. "We know that Al Qaeda detainees are trained in trying to disseminate false allegations."
The report said that the Defense Department should immediately revoke "all special interrogation techniques" it had authorized and that the United States needed to "refrain from any practice amounting to torture or cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment, discrimination on the basis of religion and violations of the right to health and freedom of religion."
McClellan asserted that the American military already treated prisoners humanely. "These are dangerous terrorists that we are talking about who are there," he said. "Nothing had changed in terms of our views."
In a response included in an appendix to the 54-page report, the United States noted that the investigators had turned down an invitation to visit Guantánamo Bay. It rejected the findings and accused the investigators of selecting information to support their conclusions. The investigators declined to go to the camp after being told that they would be denied the opportunity to interview the prisoners.
The report says practices amounting to torture include the use of excessive force during transportation; force-feeding prisoners through nasal tubes during hunger strikes; shackling, chaining and hooding of prisoners; placing them in solitary confinement; and subjecting them naked to severe temperatures.
It also expresses "utmost concern" at "attempts by the United States administration to redefine 'torture' in the framework of the struggle against terrorism in order to allow certain interrogation techniques that would not be permitted under the internationally accepted definition of torture."
The United States is holding about 500 people at the American naval base on the coast of Cuba and says they are people with direct ties to Al Qaeda or the Taliban in Afghanistan.
The report was based on the work of five UN rapporteurs, or experts, specialized in pursuing charges of arbitrary detention and torture and of alleged violations of freedom of religion, the right to health and the independence of judges and lawyers.
They said they had based their conclusions on interviews with former prisoners in Britain, France and Spain, lawyers representing current inmates, news accounts, reports from non-governmental organizations and answers to a questionnaire submitted to the U.S. government.
In rejecting many of the conclusions that have emerged this week in news reports on a draft, the United States has stressed that the UN investigators never went to Guantánamo Bay.
The investigators had been seeking permission to make the trip since 2002 and obtained permission last autumn to go in December. But they turned down the invitation when the United States said they would not be permitted to talk to individual prisoners.
Such interviews were a "totally non-negotiable precondition" for conducting visits, the investigators said.
The report said that the "executive branch of the United States government operates as judge, prosecutor and defense counsel of the Guantánamo Bay detainees" and asserted that this constituted "serious violations of various guarantees of the right to a fair trial."

Thoughts

just a quick thought today i was thinkin if i had a gun would i kill someone i mean i am one of those sick people that have thought about it i have done the math and would actually kill someone there is someone that i want to kill and have thought about it for a while i hadnt thought about untill today when i was talkin to someone about some crap from the past and i guess i still want to do it .. i mean if i had the gun and stuff i would still go through with it all !!!! so anyone know where i can get a gun ?? seriously .. in the wrong mood at the wrong time i would actually go through with it ??? is there someone you know that the world would be better off without ???.......

Am i sick for thinkin this am i sick for going through with it ??? is this the dark side comeing out /////////??? is it time yet .... not yet but soon some day soon ???????

I broke my Pc

Sorry to everyone i broke my puter last night and no it was not me getting anoyed with some game and throwing stuff at it .. it was my vid card shitting itself !!! so i will not be bloging for a few days maybe a week ... awwwwwww!!!!!

So anyway just so you know i am not dead lying in a gutter of something i will try to get to a net cafe or a friends pc once a day to mail etc......

Anyway take care scumbags
Sarah
hugz and kisses

SHAME ON YOU ! USA NOT OK !!!!!!!!!

We are talking about three categories. The first are crimes against peace. After Nuremberg an idea took hold that launching an aggressive war is the supreme international crime. There are only a few specific circumstances where a state can use force against another state. The U.N. charter says either you need a resolution from the Security Council or you need to be acting in self-defense from an imminent and immediate attack. In the current situation, the U.S. launched an aggressive war in Iraq that even Kofi Annan declared illegal.
The second category of crimes concern the conduct of the war and occupation. This would include the administration’s use of illegal weapons, such as napalm, white phosphorus, and cluster bombs. It includes a failure to protect civilians. It includes trying to break the Iraqi insurgency with collective punishment against the civilian population—with acts like cutting off water supplies. This is a practice we saw in Fallujah and elsewhere, and which the U.N. has condemned.
Fallujah actually summarizes several of these crimes. There we had eight weeks of bombing, we destroyed 36,000 houses, 60 schools, and 65 mosques. One of the military’s first acts was to storm the hospital. The U.S. cut off all food supplies, all power to the entire city. The Defense Department said that all the civilians were out at the time of the attack, but reports show that 30,000 to 50,000 civilians remained in the city. The U.S. blocked the Red Crescent from entering. All males between 15 and 55 weren’t allowed to leave. So in Iraq, Falljah has become iconic of American war crimes and brutality.
The third set of war crimes centers on torture. Here, the question is not whether it’s happening, it’s how often and who’s responsible. When we wrote the book there were 32 deaths of prisoners in U.S. custody reported. Now there are over 100. The FBI reports cases of strangulation, burning with cigarettes, routine beatings.
Failure to count civilian deaths is also a war crime, a violation of the Geneva Conventions

As Australia is in bed with the USA Mr Howard is also comiting these crimes and will also be put to death for it or at best Jailed for life and we have people saying hes a good Prime Minster as if it makes me sick to think my country had anything to do with shit the USA is trying to pull!! As Australians we are smarter than this and we are better than this .... Mr Howard you are a criminal here is the proof now prepare for your trial and your firing squad you fucker ......

No Longer A Christian

I was told in Sunday school the word "Christian" means to be Christ-like, but the message I hear daily on the airwaves from the “christian ” media are words of war, violence, and aggression. Throughout this article I will spell Christian with a small c rather than a capital, since the term (as I usually hear it thrown about) does not refer to the teachings of the one I know as the Christ. I hear church goers call in to radio programs and explain that it was a mistake not to kill every living thing in Fallujah. They quote chapter and verse from the old testament about smiting the enemies of Israel. The fear of fighting the terrorists on our soil rather than across the globe causes the voices to be raised as they justify the latest prison scandal or other accounts of the horrors of war . The words they speak are words of destruction, aggression, dominance, revenge, fear and arrogance. The host and the callers echo the belief in the righteousness of our nation's killing. There are reminders to pray for our “Christian” president who is doing the work of the Lord: Right to Life, Second Amendment, sanctity of marriage, welfare reform, war, kill, evil liberals. . . so much to fight, so much to destroy.

Let me tell you about the Christ I know. He was conceived by an unmarried woman. He was not born into a family of privilege. He was a radical. He said, “It was said an eye for and eye and a tooth of a tooth, but now I say love your enemies and bless those who curse you.” He said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.” (Matthew 5: 3-9) He said, “All those who are called by my name will enter the kingdom of heaven." He said, "People will know true believers if they have the fruit of the spirit--love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self control.“

He knew he would be led like a sheep to the slaughter. He responded with “Father forgive them.“ He explained that in Christ there is neither Jew nor gentile, slave or free male nor female. He explained that even to be angry is akin to murder. He said the temple of God is not a building, but is in the hearts of those are called by his name. He was called "the Prince of Peace." His final days were spent in prayer, so that he could endure what was set before him, not on how he could overpower the evil government of that day. When they came for him he was led away and didn’t resist his death sentence.

This is a stark contrast to the call of the religious Christian right, who vote for war and weapons, and suggest towns and villages be leveled to bring freedom and peace to the people. They proudly boast this country’s superiority, suggesting God has blessed our nation. Today, as I listened to a popular Christian news network, I was reminded that in the last days, even God’s elect will be deceived, (II Timothy 3:13). When the religious media moguls preaching prosperity spout their rhetoric, I am reminded of the difficulty Jesus described of a rich man’s ability to enter the kingdom of God. (Matthew 19: 24) (http://www.4religious-right.info/rr_economics.htm) Some who believe they are fighting evil will cry to the Lord, and he will say “I never knew you.“ (Matthew 22). They will have a form or godliness but will deny the power (II Timothy 3:5) to move mountains through prayer. (Matthew 17:20). Jesus explained that he has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. (II Timothy 1:17) I wonder if the innocent moms and dads, brothers and sisters, and aunts and uncles, and grandmas and grandpas who were the victims of US military weapons (the never reported collateral damages we are protected from in the “liberal” nightly news) felt the love of Jesus with the shock and awe. I wonder if the surviving family members now understand His radical love and that they no longer have any need for weapons or defense.

The solutions to the social issues used to manipulate good, decent people have no resemblance to how Jesus responded to the social concerns of his time. He never once mentioned the “right to life” the year he was born King Herod ordered the execution of all babies. (Matthew 2:16). He knew that passing laws does not change the heart. As a follower of his teaching I believe in the right to life, including the children in Iraq who stumble onto land mines, cross the street at the wrong time, or who are snugly tucked within the warm bellies of their wounded or grieving mothers as US fighter jets fly overhead. These are living, breathing children. The killing of these little ones are never even reported, and our tax dollars pay for these bombs. I believe in the right to life for those in the United States who are unwanted and impoverished. I believe in the right to life of the naive kid who was promised by the recruiter they could choose a desk job and still get their education paid or could see the world or could accelerate their life or could play a very realistic video game from a cockpit.

I've worked at a shelter, and I know first hand the reality of unwanted children. I know the reality of this right wing rhetoric when week after week I begged and pleaded with people to give up only one night every three months to sit with these unwanted living children for a few hours while the overworked house parents had a night off. Of the few I found, many changed their minds when they discovered that they would need to wear rubber gloves to change the babies diapers. These “believers” stand on the street corners holding right to life signs and then vote against medical assistance for the mothers and their unwanted children creating an impossible existence for them. The few of these abortion activists who might adopt some of these unwanted children generally want the white and the healthy. The ones with hydrocephalous, tracheotomies, emotional/ mental problems and communicable diseases along with their life long medical expenses can be someone else’s problems.

I cringe as many christians vote for policies that deny help to the poor in our own county, who vote to support the war and military strength, assuring the latest weapons are developed and that the heavens will be dominated by the military of the United States. We develop electromagnetic weapons to shatter skulls , split the earth (http://www.raven1.net/emr13.htm) and silently destroy a body as a thief in the night. Studies are even now searching for the frequencies to override the freewill. These unbelievable technologies are a reality and DNA specific weapons can or soon will target a specific nationality (http://www.arabicnews.com/ansub/Daily/Day/981116/1998111619.html ).I weep as the waters Jesus walked on become contaminated with uranium. (http://www.greendove.net/resources3.htm) I grieve as the missiles fly through the atmosphere on the continent where Jesus rose into the sky, defying death and the grave and where the Holy Sprit first descended. I cry out at the horrors of war and the indignity of the prisons so close to where He took captivity captive. So I am no longer a Christian if Christianity has become what is presented to us by our Christian president and Christian media. I cannot support the right of the United States and Israel to develop and use the most heinous weapons ever imagined. I want no part of a temple built on the blood of the innocent. The sheep have been lead astray by the teachings of prosperity and misinterpretation of the final battle between good and evil. Many no longer can recognize the voice of the good Shepherd.

Some “good Christians” even work at weapons facilities. It is not a stretch to say that a woman who tightens a last rivet on a shiny new missile just off the assembly line might be the same woman who licks the gold star on the attendance chart in morning Sunday school. The missile could be launched by the kid in the youth group who reads the invocation and it will find it’s destiny at a “target of interest” which might or might not have been a result of good intelligence. The collection plate circulates children are taught to love their enemies and bless those who curse them.

The statements and lifestyle of Jesus are difficult for me to understand. What would he say to evil dictators? This God would not justify 15,000 or more deaths. Even the wrathful jealous God of the old testament spared whole cities for a few righteous souls. For Christians, to support mass killings as a way to prevent future deaths is not at all like Christ. He would not say,"When I am talking about war I am really talking about peace," like the self professed Christian President proudly states. Who but God has the right to determine what price a people should pay for their freedom? The religious leaders on the airwaves today respond to the voices of the few brave peacemakers who dare to speak out. They say that pacifism is insane, and that it doesn’t make sense, but what is forgotten is that logic and faith are separate entities. I believe in the example of Jesus and his admonition to love your enemies and bless those who curse you . Do I understand how this works on the global scale? Do I know what Jesus would say to all the world’s leaders? No, nor do I totally understand how the example of Christ’s life and his message of love works in the world today. That’s why I need faith. Am I always correct in my assessments and actions? No, that’s why I need grace. Am I brave and unafraid? No, that’s why I need the perfect love that casts out fear. Some put trust in Chariots and some in horses but I will remember the name of the lord our God--the Prince of Peace. Perhaps politics has no place for imitators of Christ.

Who will show the face of Christ to the world? Who will speak His radical message? I hear from these so called imitators of Christ that the pacifists are a collection of kids, hippies, socialists and communists who haven’t got a clue. Some of us, however, have come to our beliefs as a result of careful and prayerful study of the scriptures and admonishment from our elders. Many are Mennonite, Amish, Quaker and other Anabaptists, whose ancestors did not resist their torturers and were drowned, burnt at the stake and flogged for their pacifist stand. They truly followed the example of Christ, and their resistance against the catastrophic effects of the merging of church and state cost them a great price. Churches today have signed onto the government plan and have agreed to look the other way in exchange for tax free privileges. The true message of Christ still exists to some degree in the quiet of the land to peacemakers, but sadly these good people have been deceived by the angry words from a righteous sounding religious media majority broadcasting in cars and trucks and tractors all over our land ironically preaching the “good news of war for peace“ and convincing 24-7 “liberal“ bashing. I suspect there are many who share my sorrow at the loss of what it means to be Christ-like, but our voice is seldom heard. The blaring rhetoric drowns out the still small voice of the mighty God. Peace used be the opposite of war, Conservative used to mean the tendency to conserve resources. Liberal used to mean kind and generous, and Christian used to mean like Christ.

So I am no longer a Christian but just a person who continues trying to follow the example of Christ. I’ll let him call me what he wants when I see him face to face. Until then, I will pray that someday people like me will be able to reclaim the meaning of Christ’s identity, and the world will see the effects of the radical message of Christ‘s love--the perfect love that casts out fear.

Nothing to say

not much to say today i guess ... I am still sore i woke up last night with a giant nose bleed .. well not a giant nose but alot of blood kinda scared me cause my face was covered in blood and so was my pillow .. yuck oh .... apart from that all other things are good and slowly feeling better

Spent the day doing a poster on and off for a friend it was nice to get back to doing something crafty and artistic for a change and what i use to do for work (kinda) back in the day anyway still have some stuff to do to it but i think it looks nice .....

went down the street too its strange to see people look at me like i am some kinda freak ! Ok smart arses they do that already do they ....... sucked in i got in first on that coment !!!!!!

Sorry for no photos or anything of intrest to say ... but i thought i should blog something

Take care
Sarah

Lickin my wounds

Well ladys and gentelmen and others... the results are in .. My last fight for ever i feel so i really tryed to do good and i come forth !!! i know how totally crap but the girl who knocked me out of the comp.. went on to win so who knows the luck of the draw and all maybe if the cards fell difrently i might have come in second or something ... anyway i took a way big arse kickin but i gave as good as i got ,.... well i hope i did ... In the first couple of fights i took a sprain to my shoulder and elbow which hurts like a bitch but not as much as my hip which took a great kick and totaly hurt

but the killer was in my last fight when i took a great kick to the head ( i know duck duck ) lol maybe i should have thought of that lol anyway it landed right in my eye giving me the best black eye ever and posiable ruptured eye socket that i will find out about in the next few days ... sorry about the quality of the photos i only have my web cam to take them at the moment ..... nice color hey ....

Anyway like I said my last fight ... I am just too old for this shit anymore plus i think i have got where i want to get in the sport i mean who wants to take home more eyes like this one !!!!

So anyways there you go hopfully the eye will come good soon i think its not as bad as it looks there is no internal bleeding which has got to be a good thing ....

Take care friends and update your blogs .... things can get boring around here without anyone to pick on ...lol
See ya soon ...
love peace light and chi
SarahXOXOXO

Mcdonalds

Ok so i have never been to a Mc donalds place and would never go to one unless it was to protest or something like that .... anyway I have just been playing a game about ownering a Maccas and its funny shit so here is the link .... have some fun ... i destroyed the company about a million times ..... funny as .....

http://www.molleindustria.it/mcclic.php3?url=www.molleindustria.it/games/mcdonalds-eng.swf

how personal????

Today i am sitting here wondering just how personal to make my little blog .. some peeps only write about non personal things others write all personal things .... what should i write ....??? there is stuff going on that i dont really talk about with many people (should i blog that???) if i write about personal stuff are people only going to judge me (yes i am talking to all you born again christian bible bashing blood covered sons of bitchs) who so love to put other people down cause there beliefs dont come out of a little black book ... So if i talk are you going to judge me?? i honestly dont know ..... and if i am talking about something closes to me and you make a mean coment are you actually going to make it through my walls and masks that i have put up and actualy going to hurt me in some way ???? i honestly dont know that one either !!!

See i dont know much about much so maybe i should not say anything and just blog about crap that is not personal ... or one step better maybe i should not blog at all ... i mean would it make any difrence to anyone if i didnt ??? I guess I dont know ?????

sometimes i think what the hell am i dont blogging if it not personal i mean is it not my online diary for everyone to view ... but do i want you all to know me ...... do i want people to see me ... to really see the bits inside me the bits that others dont see ..... I just know you will judge me if not with a comment then in the quite of your room ........ do i care to be judged?? to i want you to condem me to your hell ??? ........ OK OK happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts ..................

On a better note my team kicked arse in the adventure race if i have not phoned you to tell you yet ...... will try to get some photos of that one ...... and only a couple of days untill fight night when i will take on some mean arse uguly girls to see who can be the biggest bitch ...lol well something like that ..........then after the fights i am going to retire from fighting sports and racing and just train for fun ...... or maybe get fat and have babys .....ewwwwww! ok not the fat and babys part yucko i will leave that for the girly girls ......

anyway today i am off to get a hair cur for the fights maybe something a bit shorter ..... who knows but i have a heaps good hair stylist in mind ...... no points for guessing ........

Take care little ones
Peace, love,light, and chi
to you all
Sarah hugz and kisses MWA!