MY FIRST CHRISTMAS

SARAH!
its dark i say nothing
SARAH!
i moan
the lights go on and i can not see i close my eyes tightly
GET UP !
FUCK OFF
i know what is coming next i brace myself and clench my tummy i hear hes feet leave the steps above my head
CRASH !
a body slam from the top step onto the couch where i have been sleeping
its my best friend Matt i am living in at hes perents house in there study
we wressle to the ground he is stronger than me and about 16 with mucles all over in no time he pins me to the ground
come on we are waiting on you
GET FUCKED
he pins my arms under hes kness and gently slaps my face as i squrm
santas come and we need everyone awake so we can open prizzies
i lol in hes face
santa i say really !!!
SHUT UP AND GET UP!
he lets me up and i stand i am topless and i follow hes eyes
FUCKIN PERVERT
i joke as i cover myself
i need a shower
just come everyone is waiting on you
he leaves i pull the draw string on my pj pants they are way to big for me i grab my t shirt it has not been washed in over a week but its all i have it is too big for me also i tie my hair back and climb the stairs to the lounge room
everyone is waiting
merry christmas
hes dad greets me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek thank you i say still in a daze
what the fuck
looking at a huge pile of gifts under the tree
come on sarah come on Matts little sister calls me
merry christmas sarah Matts mum says
thank you i sit on the couch and tuck my feet up under me
I watch as the kids start on there gifts
there is one here with your name on it sarah come look
i climb down looking confused you must be mistaken i say to matts sister as she passes me a gift
i look at matts mum Merry christmas she says
I can not talk
what
its for you
i hold it and feel the paper its soft
well are you going to open it matts dad says or just hold it come on there is more there
a tear forms in my eye
i can not say anything
i open it slowly so as not to rip the paper
a Tshirt i look at matts perents they have such big smiles
i have tears running down my face matts sister comes over
whats wrong is it the wrong size
no no i say
well dont cry says the five year old its christmas
i look at matts perents they have tears in there eyes to
thank you i say thank you so much
We hug and i feel good
this is my first christmas