Ok been awhile I guess???? Just havnt felt like posting
The last week has seen me grow and learn so thats gotta be a good thing well perhaps it started with an email from my mum ... yes my mum who I havnt spoken to in about 6 years and before that prob not much either now gotta say I was just about to delete it without reading it but felt worth the read I mean why not right. Anyway it seems she is real sick and wanted to see me blah blah etc etc ...
Why should I was the main thought that crossed my mind for a day but then I thought well hell I am bigger than that so I finally got up the courage to call her for a chat (see I can be a big girl lol) Gotta say I didnt have to bite my tounge as much as I thought I would maybe she is sick I thought anyway we actually talked for over an hour about all kindas of crap (I guess she dosnt really know much about me) anyways she seemed happy that called and she cried alot (drama queen) It seems that she is in a bad way and wants to make peace with me while she can (I never believe anything that comes out of her mouth so will see) but also told me that my half brother wants to meet me.. I totally forgot I had a half brother lol.. I dont really have time for all there bullshit but I didnt say that I am like well who knows maybe I dont know sometime perhaps. There is alot of water under the bridge so who knows what I can forgive and forget... I am not getting any younger myself
I guess the main thing for me is I just dont care. I couldnt care less these people are nothing to me and will never be anything to me ...
The phone call ended with with her promising to call me soon and perhaps meeting them all one day ... Do I really want to do this ?? If I dont will I regret it sometime ? I think not! but who knows
I guess I should explain that there is a long story behind it all the short version for those of you who dont know about my mum is that through her neglect and basicaly the fact that she didnt want to be a mother to me I left home at 14 to live with a friend and hes familay and really have only had minnimal contact with her seince then and the contact that I have had has been less than nice that is both my fault and hers I will admit that ..... But for now I am like I just dont care Its like people I dont know and have nothing to do with me for many years they are not part of my life have never been and will never be so whats the point!!!!
7 comments:
Hi Sarah. I'm so sorry to hear that you haven't had the best life with your mother. Some mothers can just be that way. I can totally sympathize with you as well. When family members are like that, and then drift apart, they really do feel like straingers and there really is so little incentive to get together again. Life is so short, so why bother. We may as well spend time with those we really love ... or even pick a random person off the street to spend time with.
And then again you may discover a new relationship that wasn't there before. So you really don't have that much to lose (except the time spent) by getting together. Just go with the flow.
Ironically, I also have a post up about my mom right now, but a completely different tone. My mom (and I) have gone through so much shit in the past few months. And yet she keeps holding strong.
Go with the flow Sarah. And hugs and kisses your way.
Hey Danny Boy, I really dont know what I should think or what I actually think... Not getting my hopes up about any kinda Oprah moment or anything ... I regard other people as my family and knowing my mum she prolly wants something from me .. I will wait see but I will not hold my breath on that one...
For what it is worth, I never made peace with my mother, Sarah. She was a pain in the butt every time I saw her for the last 30 years of her life.
I went to load the truck when my sister moved her to where she lived. Hugged her and forgot her. When sis called to tell me that she had died my response was something like "Well it's about time."
I was more interested in talking to my sister, about her, to hell with a mother that wasn't.
We are all related, so it's like family is who you choose. You know?
Take care hon.
To add to what I said.
She was just a birth canal for your spirit to get here through.
Humans are one of the few species that puts much stock all that blood family crap.
Family is where you find it. Hugs.
That bbc is a sick pervy mother-fucker. I bet that picture gives him a real hard on.
I like BBC he has given me some great advice so if you want to attack someone on my blog then attack me not other people ...
Whatever. you'll find out soon anough.
It is our mission to warn women about the BBC troll.
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